Unhappy times.

Right now I'm not a very happy person (in fact, its 2.45am, I've been awake since 1am, and I cant get back to sleep...). I'm hoping that blogging will help!

On my mind:

• My Msc. Its not going too well at the moment, and I'm very stressed out. More so today (actually yesterday), because one of my pieces of equipment shattered into roughly 10 000 000 pieces, and I'll have to get another one made.
• Ill have to start recording another experiment in the meantime. This means that Ill have to try and fine-tune EXACTLY what I'm going to do, plan for the worst possible scenario, and then expect that the worst WILL happen (inevitably, in this project, it really will...).
• I haven't been scoring data like the machine that I should be. This past weekend, I worked late on Friday, did a few hours on Saturday, and nothing on Sunday. And nothing today either.
• I'm worried about my brother, although it has been totally awesome to have my "normal" brother back!
• My parents - I fought with my dad over a relatively minor issue yesterday. I hate fighting. And my mom is questioning my relationship with KCB, which brings me to my next point...
• KCB. Maybe I'm just way too stressed out so that every minor thing is a huge one, but I'm not coping too well even being in a relationship right now! Things like "he isn't treating me right cos he didn't pick me up to go to that wedding" (Thanks for that one, mom), to "he knows I'm super stressed out, why doesn't he frikkin phone instead of gchat?". In retrospect, I'd probably deal with all of the issues a whole lot better if I was calm and rational. Instead, in my head they are all blown up to these humongous things, to the point where, when I was tossing and turning earlier, I just wanted to call everything off.
• I just want a holiday. And to cry. My neck hurts, my sinuses are not behaving themselves, and I just would like to find myself a nice mountain that I can go and be a hermit on. Bugger the masters!

Uh, help?

So, it turns out that I'm pretty useless at social etiquette (who would'a known??). This past week, I went to a wedding - KCB's mates were getting married. Now, not I didn't know the bride and groom from a bar of soap...

Typically, when I have no idea what to do, I froze with a (probably awkward) grin on my face (and may have mumbled a congratulations, but I cant be sure in the panic of the moment), after the ceremony... How awkward. What on earth is one supposed to do??? Most other people were congratulating the couple... Does the same apply to a complete stranger?? AAAARG!

Utter confusion reigns

I wrote an entry a while ago, On etiquette. In it, I described the worst type of unreliable character one could ever hope to meet... Well, my 'friendship' with said character (lets call him... Ernest, shall we...?) has sort of continued since then. I am sure of neither his intentions, nor his feelings with regard to me, and thus, felt the need to blog about it.

Since the etiquette post, I saw Ernest at an event that I invited him to, my birthday party, my field work (vegetation sampling), and then he invited me to help him with an adventure activity. Since then, I have invited him to help me with trapping, along with several others (I need quite a bit of help!), and he invited me to go to church. Oh and to help on a weekend camp...

Firstly, vegetation sampling with him (and my mom) was really good, if a little slower than I'm used to. I enjoyed his company, and it made for an interesting morning. That day, he asked if I would like to help him with his adventure activity thing, a few days later. I agreed, because it would be fun, and also because I haven't really taken the day off completely for a very long time. That day, I discovered he was quite a passionate christian. No problemo, except for the fact that I'm not exactly the epitome of one... In fact, if you met me, you probably would not guess my religious affiliation... This was all good and well, until it came up that I had glandular fever (aka "kissing disease").

[I think this is highly unfair name - common colds and flu are spread in exactly the same way, but they are not called 'kissing illness"...]

And despite the fact that I didn't get it from kissing anyone, I was proclaimed to be a "promiscuous kisser"... YES! UNFAIR! (I was imagining may flocks of turtles in my mind right then...)

Anyway, I sent out an email with regard to my trapping this coming week, and, it took Ernest till today to let me know in all definiteness! When I texted him yesterday afternoon, with a friendly message, he said that he was going for a ride with his sister. And replied to me at 1am! Seriously, WTF? Then, today (I mean, this afternoon), he says that he cant come trapping, because of his hectic week, with his sister leaving and all, and then proceeded to ask me if I wanted to go to church with him. So I agreed, and left it at that. I was on my way back from the south, when he phoned me... And it turned out he could make church tonight, but wanted to clarify that he maybe could come trapping on Tuesday? He then proceeded to confirm about Tuesday, and ask me if I would help him on a camp coming up...

I am so super confused about this oke! He has offered a few times to watch mouse videos (of all things) with me, can be super-attentive when I'm with him, but then doesn't contact me? Or does he actually like me? What on earth?

Helen, please please please don't say "I told you so"!